I didn’t know; what I didn’t know; as this game was being played all around me and above my head.
As an approval seeker for much of my relational life; I looked for secure connections with friends that fed this yearning to be approved of. Somewhere along the way; I missed out on those secure connections that would have allowed me to approve of me.
Looking for approval in people; especially young men who were exploring their cleverness and building their arsenal of weapons through words; I was an easy target for these quick witted weapons,
Leaving myself open; made for a power struggle inside me. There was no social capital in purity. And, I continuously made the choice to seek approval, which stirred my internal struggle. Try to be clever and use my words as weapons? Or act from a purity that was quickly slipping away.
In order for awareness to grow; we must be willing to be moved off of our mark. Your mark is whatever; wherever, your comfort zone is. Living harder, loving deeper, result from a growing awareness of the substance of our lives; that result from being in touch with the game that is going on around us and above us.
The game is not cleverness, or words that give a back handed compliment and continue to keep us at arms length from each other. The game is changing the standards by which I operate.
The Apostle Paul writing to the church at Ephesus put it his way:
Ephesians 4:29
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
If we become aware of the needs of others; our standards will change. If we are listening for the needs of others; we will not only hear the game we were not aware of before; we will see the game of life giving encouragement; we will see people stepping into being a source (starting point) for others because their standards for relationships have changed; as a result of a growing awareness that has given way to action. And, purity becomes a sought after form of social capital.
Seeking approval will turn into seeking intimacy and there will be no more arms outstretched with a stop sign; but, a shoulder walking side by side with yours into a new game that everyone wants to be a part of.
How bout you?
The Oak Tree 
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