The Oak Tree

Isn’t it amazing when you get that “a-ha” moment as you see something from a different angle, a different view? Like the Quarterback whose thought process slows down when he starts to see more of the field in his passing route progression.  Or the architect that has poured over a set of drawings many times, and comes back to them once more to see how he/she can create that extra space for the den off the master bedroom.  Possibly, the “a-ha” moment comes as you come back to a journal you haven’t  written in for a while, you start to read a couple of the entries and you see how much you have changed in a year.

This was my experience today.  Journaling Is one of the powerful actions I take in the on going process to discover, diffuse, and make sense of the thoughts and emotions that inform my conscious actions, and reactions. It is difficult to see yourself as you are, apart from the bombardment of negative and critical messages, and judgments we are subjected to every moment.  The temptation to compare ourselves to others  and project future success that is not guaranteed.   What is guaranteed is the opportunity to grow; mentally and emotionally.  What I read in those pages from Spring 2018 was vastly different from who I am Spring 2019.

If we are willing to engage in the day we are living  and focus on the process of growth and change; inevitably, our engagement level in tasks, relationships, deadlines, becomes rooted in purpose and an objective that has meaning.  If you have read this far; you may think, this is obvious, “I am highly successful, and work on growth constantly”.  And, you are right, the process of growth and change happen because of intentional focus and relentless drive to achieve.

For you high achievers who want to supercharge your next mission; take inventory and reflect on the year you’ve just lived.  Through the lens of emotional and mental change/growth.  If you have stayed the same; your impact is not as a great as you think.  If you can see authentic shifts in your thought process, your emotional awareness and how these have changed how you show up in areas of your life; your impact has deepened and your influence is tangible.

For those of you in the beginning stages of discovery, In this practice of introspection and growth,  the insights you gain are the cornerstone for more “a-ha” moments.

I was both super charged and humbled by the fresh perspective I received by the power of continually engaging in purposefully becoming a source for myself and others.   

Even though there is great satisfaction and purpose in being a source; there is humanity that bleeds and hurts when your encouragement, love, and strength are not received well.  Or, as a source, you place expectations on those you love to respond to that encouragement, love, and strength giving.  When, it shouldn’t be about what you receive as that starting spot for the world and its people. I got caught in that expectation yesterday with Carrie.

If I am to be a source of light, authority, life, I must forgo the expectation that I would receive anything in return, the outpouring of life will beget the outpouring of life.  This doesn’t mean that I don’t bleed or hurt; because I am certainly not the Messiah.  If anything,  I hope this fallibility would make me more substantive and attractive to the ones I am trying to be a source for.  Am I acting as a martyr by engaging in this whole source business? Is this road less travelled, worth the pain and suffering that being a lay down light requires?  I

This is what I was made for.  To live out the mission placed on my heart; to wear my heart on my sleeve so that people can see God’s heart, my heart.  Even if, I am last to know what the plan is.  Even if I am last to be loved. Even if,  I am not thanked or recognized for my efforts, Even if, I bleed and my insecurities come to the forefront.  Even if, I am portrayed as weak or gullible. Even if, my heart gets trampled.  I will believe, I will learn, I will serve, I will strengthen my self as a source of life giving encouragement, love, substance, and purpose.  Will you?